sleep deprived

i had trouble sleeping last night. i've got too much on my mind. that and my allergies are just going bonkers. i did take an over the counter allergy pill, but i still could not sleep. i have been miserable with allergies for a couple of weeks and i'm hoping it subsides soon. as for having too much on my mind, it cannot be helped. between all that is going on at work, my artistic endeavors, and just trying to keep it all together, it is getting to be too much for the time being. i wish i could just pursue my art and not have the day job, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. it is getting me down again. i must not give up. i must keep plugging away. i guess i take it too seriously. i guess i just have to realize that the art side is to just give me pleasure, not an income. its just not meant to be. i must make art for arts sake and not take myself so serious. i am meeting some really nice people who make art for arts sake. i must take my joy in that. so many other people (my work side of life) don't understand why i do this silly art thing. they think its a hobby of some sort. it is more than a hobby. it makes me feel good to create. or, is that what a hobby is? well, i guess so. i guess maybe it is a hobby unless it would develop into something that would give me some income. i cannot wish that to happen. i have to enjoy this part of my life and if it is meant to be something else, then it will happen in due time. i love writing so, and nothing has ever come about with that. again, i've got to just enjoy the writing. that's why i have two blogs and two websites! i'll keep on posting even if no one is reading it. because, that's what i like to do. ok, enough drivel for today. i keep saying i'm going to be positive, so there it is.